whirlwind

the heart, the wind, the tides. consistently in motion, irreverently unpredictable, i follow these courses with the hop skip bounce of a young and feverish colt.

life is so undeniably long, so unapproachably short; cut with moments that give you pause, that create a platform from which you will operate, a persona through which you will flourish, expand, contract, deteriorate commiserate appreciate survive.

we are only human. ain't our fragility glorious.

i, for whatever it is worth, i am living. living fully. breathing, running, burning, skipping, fucking up and loving hard. i am back in my element--you place me aboard a sailing ship and all that was anxiety, all that was confusion, disintegrates i am left naked, sunburned salty, with calloused hands and peace in my heart.

lately, i have been approached by a gentleman of the unutterable sort. he has waltzed out of my past and slapped me in the face, he has given me cause for regret. his name is settlement, his name is dogged and blind loyalty, his name was doubt and distress. he was my mistress for many years past and he is gone, now. replaced by the shocking and overwhelmingly marvelous realization of the potential of life. the potential of relationships. the available real estate left in my smile--that bitch can get so much bigger than she has been, she can fill my face and swallow my pride and cast a blinding light across all things dark and dreary.

my smile could fill the universe. my course of understanding, of myself and others, could fill the pages of a novel. my shame for past mistakes has evaporated in the glory of opportunity.

life can, realistically, be anything you have the capacity of imagining.

isn't that fucking incredible?

we sail out today. hopefully we'll make it to guatemala in one foul swoop. only time and wind can tell and by god am i glad to be back in her hands.

i will be back aboard a sailing ship of my own in the near future. currently engaged in the operation of locating and solidifying a ship and crew--i have no intentions of traveling this world alone, not for much longer. not when i know now have held in my hands the unwavering and limitless potential of a new partnership; combined with the proper person, you are powerful beyond description. and, if and when you have the opportunity, always act like a banshee because of your heart. i will never, ever not err in the direction of a heart's murmur. she speaks to you, and the more frequently you listen the louder and clearer she becomes. like a damn freight train, sometimes, the heart's roar. her voice, though, like many things innate to us as a human species has been quieted, quilted, smothered with a veneer of plastic and complacency. retreat to your intuition, your wild nature, your voice deep inside and listen to what she has to say. she's kind of a big deal.

oh, the places we'll go.